Self love.Contrary to popular belief, when I talk of love, I don’t think about hugs, kisses and sex. In my Universe, love starts from positivity and ends at gratitude with loads of affirmation filled in between. Today I will try to recalibrate your mindset to love yourself, in such a way that when you meet others, you fill them with radiance as well. Hold tight as we try to quarantine hatred from your thought process and finally isolate it forever. Best part – You will not even need face masks or hand sanitiser. Let us jump right into it
Be your own better half first:
I know you are seeking a partner. You may feel lonely, so did I. “I tried to find love in someone else, so many times” – The Weeknd (in your eyes). You see, even The Weeknd did to try find love in other person and well, if you have heard after hours, my man is in so much pain for doing that.
So, I want you to do the completely opposite. Before you look for validation from others, bother yourself too much with their detached behaviour, try finding love within. If the voice inside you talks down to you, that voice is altered. As humans, you are meant to love yourself. Look after yourself and this world will hail.
So, you want to turn me into a narcissist?
No, my love, I want you to stop being hard on yourself. Accept yourself for what you are, not for what the world wants you to be. Narcissism is altogether a very different personality disorder. The demarcation between self-love and narcissism is huge. The mainstream proclivity of self-importance, self-respect and self-love diluting with a cool term “narcissism” has made self-love elusive.
A basic rule of thumb, it is always a handy practise to question choices or to introduce changes in life. But deciding outcome on the basis of assumption isn’t.
Isn’t self-love selfish?
Selfish means to regard one’s self interest over the well being of others. In some domains, you very well have to be selfish for your protection too. However, in the conjunction of love with self, selfish falls apart. As self-love is limited to the way you treat yourself in your mind and then into actions. I will talk more about actions in one bit.
What are some affirmations I should repeat daily or what are some of the best self-love quotes?
Here are some of the best quotation I recommend, Try reading them out aloud and feel each word as you do.
- I am whole
- My life is full of joy
- I am the greatest person ever born on this planet
- I am the Universe; the whole Universe is me
- Om Namah Shivaya (check out our article on music with meditation to get a better understanding of this inclusion)
- I am complete
- My life is simple and ecstatic
- I love everybody
- I am a beautiful creation of divine powers
- My kindness is my power
- I am kind
- I will accept myself for what I am
- There is so much divinity in this moment
There you have it. Simple, crisp, precise affirmations which children use to affirm to themselves and even you did in your childhood. Ever thought what made you stop using these positive words daily? You will find my take on this question as I progress through this article.
Are you sure these affirmations/quotations work in real life?
Yes, not only I am sure they will work but I am sure that once you surround yourself with enough pragmatic positivity, they will do wonders for you. My surety comes from personal experience and through reading & meeting people in life who are striving towards meaning and purpose.
I do know the core issue as to what makes you question or sceptical about affirmations. Here it is
To make yourself love you, you have to work on yourself:
Whatever I have told above, just has one terms & conditions attached to it. You have to work and improve yourself. This is the holy grail. This is the supreme testament. Why do I say that? Because no matter how many bandages you put on a leaking tap, ultimate solution always lies in getting it fixed. Attending to the root of problem. This is something which deep within you know, I know, yet turning eyes from it will not fix it. The bandages can surely buy you some time, but don’t expect them to work in harmony without fixing the core of issue.
Try applying the above example to your life now. I am here to build you up, uplift you and point you in the direction. However, for the longer run, yet better said, for an actual fix to loving oneself, it lies in fixing the root.
Fix your life from the root of it:
My truth of life is about confronting chaos and bringing order. Self-love is a great tool to help me do that. Sooner or later you would even realise that loving oneself is a by-product of setting your life in order. So, do you want a short-term fix or a long-term cure? If you choose the latter, stay a bit more as I tell you how I made actually love myself and fixed my life to its bottom. Is isn’t about a life being free of problems, it is about having everything in perspective so that whenever flood comes in your life, you have an arc resilient enough to get you pass it.
I am a big admirer of work done and is being done by Dr. Jordan Peterson. You can pick a hint of his influence in this article. The self-assessment is something I was introduced to as well. Here is how you can do it for yourself.
- Sit in a calm place and question yourself – What is it that I demand from life? Am I doing enough to meet destiny which I plan to achieve?
- You may find these questions absurd but believe me, they are fundamental.
- Once you have a point A and point B in your life, now you can work in a direction. In the due process you will learn a zillion new thing about yourself
I emphasise on discovering yourself. You will only be able to love yourself when you know self. Your individuality is to be actualised and envisaged by you only. Self love would then become eternal.
Discover the real you!
Self-love hence would be inevitable.
I love you so now go, love yourself!